Friday, November 10, 2006

You have nothing to lose but your mind

Alas, part 4 is finally here! Fortunately for you this post is accompanied by a pictorial ensemble as well (courtesy of Lilli)! Here is the story of the haunted house that I created inside my house on Halloween night. I think we had at least 50 people go through the house, but we basically lost count because we had a couple of repeaters as well. Everyone had a great time scaring the poor hapless souls that ventured into my house that night.

"Come and visit the Hyde M. Asylum, you have nothing to lose but your mind."

Only 3 people were allowed in at a time (this created nice long lines of anticipation). They were led into the nurse's station where shortly thereafter Nurse Meg would come out screaming and warning them not to go inside. She would then drop dead at their feet. I was later told by my front office volunteers that many guests didn't even make it past this point. They were so freaked out by the dying woman that they turned around and exited. Well done Meg! Once they regained their composures, Nurse Jen would burst on the scene and interrogate them about Nurse Meg. She would scold the guests for having escaped the asylum and would order them to put their gowns on. Once inside and wearing gowns, the guests were lead through the haunted house by Jen. First, they would pass by the shock therapy alternative treatment room where the door was shut, but the screams could still be heard from behind the door.

Then, they passed through the game room where the welcoming committee was always glad to greet them. There were sometimes as many as 5 people in that room doing all sorts of mischief and accosting the guests, one of them being Lisa the cutter. Some of the patients were busy playing cymbals and games, but others just couldn't help themselves and would jump up and hug the guests coming through. Once past this room, the guests would go down a hall of sheets and end up in the padded room. They were often greeted by several colorful characters in the hall and in the padded room as well such as Dr. Feelgood, Asylum Amber and Ricardo the closet-dweller.

Just past the padded room was the restroom in case anyone had to make a pit-stop, but no body seemed to want to. Unfortunately doo-doo Damian had made a mess in there. His potty training had been very traumatic for him as a child and he never quite got over it. Guests were often amazed by the artwork on the walls of the room and wanted to come in for a closer look, but quickly changed their minds when the smells of the room reached their nostrils.

A turn of the corner and they found themselves in the TV room. Nurse Jen would inform them "TV time is over" and all sorts of screaming would ensue. Patients Crazy Claudia and Osama loved to watch the static on TV or play twister. Sometimes Osama would get in the guests faces and chant "chemical weapons, chemical weapons" over and over again. He would corner them against the closet and they nearly peed in their pants when Ricardo the closet-dweller or Claude the quack would jump out of the closet behind them. It worked every time.

Guests would then pass through a curtain and proceed into the dining room. When Claude wasn't busy coming out of the closet (hee hee), he often stood behind the curtains and sprayed the guests with a puff of air "chemical weapons" and that would get them jumping. Either that, or he cornered them by saying "hi hi hi hi hi" right in their faces. Ah, what a lovable bunch we had.

Speaking of love, my love Ren the slicer, had an absolutely lovely assortment of body pieces laying out on the dining room table. He had gathered quite a varied amount of body parts, but was always eager to add more to his collection. Whenever he asked a lucky guest to make a donation, they always seemed to say no and run out. The dangling body parts from the ceiling didn't help his cause either I don't think.

After the dining room, the guests would exit out to my back porch where they were given candy, toys or a hearty congratulations for having made it through the asylum. They removed their gowns and went on their merry way. I only wish I could have been outside to hear all the comments, but I heard that one guest even got teary-eyed from how happy he was and how cool he thought the whole thing was. He said that no one has any spirit anymore, hardly anyone gives candy or trick or treats anymore and it was wonderful to see that people like us go through the trouble to do things like this for the neighborhood. Wow, if that isn't a pat on the back, I don't know what is.

Enjoy the pictures folks and keep in mind that the flash makes it look bright, but it was very very dark in there! hee hee hee

P.S. I'd like to give a grandiose THANK YOU to the 17 people that helped me out in the haunted house, I couldn't have done it without you (a 1 person haunted house is kind of lame). And I am especially grateful to Jenny, who not only flew in from Califronia, but she also busted her ass alongside me for a whole week in order to help me get my house ready. You kept encouraging me and telling me that everything was going to go smoothly and be ready on time, whenever I panicked or wanted to throw in the towel. It's your youthful spriit that helps me to stay young and not lose mine!


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