Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Trouble in Los Pantalones

This morning I had a dentist appointment (ugh), so the day just didn't start out happy. I finished my dental torture and decided to pick some lunch up on the way to work. Chicken...check. Salad...check. Frosty...check. Nice refreshing tall cup of soda...check. I was set. I was happily jamming to some tunes in my car and I had a yummy meal to look forward to, so the day was picking up despite the dental relapse at the beginning. I parked my car and tried to maneuver out of my car juggling a purse, a gym bag, my lunch and my soda. Speaking of the soda....don't you hate it when they don't put the lid on right and you grab it by the top to pick it up and the lid falls off and the soda falls? don't you hate it? cause I do. You know what else I hate? Spilling soda in my crotch so early in the day that I haven't even gotten to the office (well, actually, soda in the crotch is not good at any time, unless, well, you like that sort of thing).

So yeah, I was now wearing a nice tall glass of iced soda, mainly in the crotch and buttocks area to be exact. Fortunately, I had my gym clothes with me so I realized that I could in fact change and did not have to walk around looking like I was incontinent the whole day. I momentarily thought about changing in the parking lot, but decided against it for fear that the parking meter person would drive by at that exact moment and catch me unclothed (because knowing my luck, that would totally happen). Instead I chose to waddle to the closest restroom to change. I figured it was better that a couple of people see me waddling and think I peed myself, than to moon the security guy in the parking lot. Choices people, choices.

So I get in the bathroom and pull out my spare yoga pants from my gym bag. Unfortunately, I do not also carry spare panties, so you guess it, I had to go commando. Boy do I hate that feeling. There's just something about underwear that makes me feel secure and not so drafty.

It's funny the lessons that life teaches you (and life doesn't wait either). This morning Jordan was crawling around me while I got ready to leave. He was trying to stand up by holding on to my pants for leverage. Because I have an overactive imagination, I instantly thought, Wow, that's a recipe for a major embarrassing situation. Imagine if I were wearing loose pants and no underwear and Jordan came and pulled on them to stand up and pulled them right down! I'd be showcasing my stuff to everyone! I quickly laughed it off because of the inprobability of it all, thinking that wouldn't happen though because I love underwear. Plus, I would never ever wear loose pants without it.

Never say never.


Blogger Smart Cookie said...

Ha,ha! I love underwear, too! I don't know how people go commando. I think that's why they're called privates!

4:44 PM  
Blogger elizasmom said...

"(well, actually, soda in the crotch is not good at any time, unless, well, you like that sort of thing)"

Hahahaha! I'm sorry you had a soda-crotch accident, but I'm glad you wrote about it.

1:30 PM  

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