Friday, January 29, 2010

Farting Crane

I've never been to a yoga class in my 34 years of life. Until today that is. I'm not sure what kept me away. I don't know if it was that it just didn't appeal to me or that I didn't think it was anything more than funny poses and stretching, or perhaps that I've always had a secret fear of farting mid class....and knowing me and my luck, that would totally happen.

Since my gym is offering some free classes this week, I decided to check this yoga thing out. I was quite careful to visit the ladies room beforehand and not make any strenuous moves. I also had to be careful to not get too relaxed because I heard that one can fall asleep in those classes (you know who you are hee hee).

I arrived to class and did not have a yoga mat with me, so I had to use one of the padded mats they had on hand (thank God for that, you'll find out why). I had to share the large mat with a fellow yoga-ite? yogarson? yogapotomus? yogi-bear? What are yoga-doers called anyway?

Class started off easy enough with a couple of animal poses and I quickly realized that although yoga looks easy, it totally is not. Fortunately it was a mixed class so we had all skill levels there....from people doing impressive head stands

Things started getting interesting when we had to do a tripod and be upside down on our heads. I was pretty proud of myself for being able to do this. With the blood flowing to my head, I was amazed that I wasn't toppling over (or farting). Unfortunately the blood wasn't the only thing that went to my head (no, not my shirt, thank god), but the confidence went to my head and our next pose involved us going up on our shoulders and supporting our bodies on our hands and elbows. I thought, oh this is easy, I can totally do this as I waved my legs in the air. All was fabulous until I lost my balance and came toppling down backwards. Go ahead, picture picture the ungraceful sound of that fall during a calm and peaceful class. FH3J8KWKRSBX
Right. Moving on.

I recovered quickly from the collapse (of both body and ego) and went back to worrying about farts. We then had to do a balance pose in which I found out (once again) that I have no balance. In this pose, we had to put our knees on our elbows and balance ourselves on our hands. Yeah, that didn't quite happen. Once again, I lost my balance (this time forward...yeah, I'm all about variety) and I would have eaten the mat if it weren't for my lighting quick reflexes. I still came crashing down though. Once again, the thud sounds permeated the room. Once again, they were coming from me. Oh the shame.

The rest of the class, I was able to do the poses and keep from falling, but it was quite a challenge. The relaxation part at the end was truly wonderful and I remembered to not relax too much (less we fall asleep or fart). I am happy to say that, despite my ungraceful plummets I really enjoyed the class and will do it again (next time they have a free one). After all, now I have my own yoga pose...The Falling Claudia.

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Blogger Emmakirst said...

lol....that would pretty much sum up my experience too...i'm sooo uncoordinated..sounds like a good class though

9:08 PM  

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