Gym Fail

I returned to the gym today after a long period of laziness. I entered through the doors with a smile on my face, ever so proud of myself for finally coming back. Suddenly I was reminded of the fact that I had to have my ID to get in. Aw crap. OK, no problem I figured since they allow you one freebie per month. Unfortunately, in my long absence, their rules had changed and the person at the counter pointed to the lovely little sign and rubbed it in my face that I could not enter without a picture ID. I offered to recite my entire personal information file including but not limited to my social, address, pet name and underwear color if necessary, but alas, the (insert expletive of choice) would not budge. No picture I.D., no entrance. No tickey, no laundry. Yeah, I get it.

I left and ventured far and away to go get my ID and then came back (wasted 20 minutes of my precious work out time). As I strolled in, this time with a not so friendly look on my face, I walked past the counter and flashed her my I.D. (you need to show it to them and then swipe it at the turnstile) conveniently placing it behind my middle finger (yes, I'm a big baby, so what).

I was feeling like quite a bad ass for giving the bird when I suddenly came up on the turnstile and my I.D. wouldn't work. I swiped it. Swiped it again. and again. Losing more and more of my edge with every swipe. The person at the counter finally felt sorry for me and pressed the button to let me in, right at the same moment that I pushed on the bar and then pulled back, which caused the bar to become stuck half way. Which I then had to squeeze through (instantly reminding me of why I was there in the first place) while looking like a total dork. Yeah.

Whatever snarkiness was achieved with the flashing of the bird was suddenly lost by looking like a trapped bird on the turnstile.

Gym Bird = FAIL

Go ahead, you may point and laugh now.