Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Make-up Mayhem

When I was a young girl, I was never really into makeup, jewelry, heels and all that normal girly stuff. Unfortunately, that meant that I didn't get the practice time in that all my counterparts did. Twenty plus years later, this lack of practice, is still reflected in my inability to walk in heels without appearing as if I'm going to fall at any moment and my inability to effectively put makeup on my face without appearing like a clown, raccoon or member of a theatre troupe.

Fortunately, I believe, God puts people into your life for a reason, and thus my friend M came to save me from further makeup-mayhem and embarrassment (I'm still on my own in the heels department). My dear friend M is a professional makeup artist you see (when God delivers, He really delivers). I discovered this in passing conversation one day when upon mentioning that the bulk of my cosmetic purchases were made in the same location where one can get prescription drugs, she just about had a heart attack.

No no no Claudia-san! I must teach you the ways of the world! So M and I made a date to go buy decent face paint for my pale face. She took me to this lovely store full of colors and brushes and paints and scary bottles. I clearly would have walked past this store any day. Just the sheer number and array of products was enough to make me run out screaming. So many products, so many uses! I didn't even know where to begin, I felt like a man walking into a purse store.

She did her best to not laugh or ridicule when I made statements such as "what do you mean you have to set the foundation, are we applying make-up or building a house?", "oh I don't want to pick a color, you pick it", "eyeshadow makes me look like a raccoon" "can't I just leave it on until tomorrow?" and "you mean I need more than one brush?". You get the point. Patience is definitely one of M's virtues.

We began with the foundations, then moved on to blushes, eyeshadow, lip gloss and finally lipstick, gently guiding me the whole way towards smart and sensible selections that I would be able to use repeatedly and for different situations. No Claudia, I don't think the metallic green is something that you can use everyday, No sweetie, that's face paint for The Blue Man Group, Yes, you can get the glitter if you want...Adam freak.

The employees at the store were also very helpful. I noticed they were all walking around with holsters for their 101 makeup brushes, so I asked one of the ladies if she could kindly explain what each brush was for. Use this one for eyeshadow, this one for blending, this one for fine lines, this one for cream, this one for powder, this one for blush, this one for foundation, this one if it's Tuesday, this one if it's raining, wah wah wah wah...God help me.

As I brought my final selections to the counter and they rung up the total, I was quickly reminded of another reason why I foresaw myself running out screaming. This was definitely not a trip to my local drug store. You want me to pay how much?

After signing the loan papers needed for the purchase, we headed out of the store and went to M's house. I was completely taken aback. Here, I am, with my little make up bag containing 8 items and there we were standing in her house, in her make up room. Wait, did you read that? Let me say it again...IN HER MAKE-UP ROOM. She has a room...in her house...devoted just to makeup. OK now I knew I was definitely in good hands.

Unfortunately I was running late for a birthday party that I had to attend, so she didn't really have time to explain how to use these products, but she definitely knew how to use them on me (I'm glad somebody did). She painted me up, brushing here, brushing there, blending here, blending there, close your eyes, look up, look down. It was like facial aerobics, no wonder I never did this before.

When she was done and showed me the mirror, I realized...oh wow, yeah, so much better than the pale face look. I paraded out of there feeling like a million dollars...hm, so that's why I guess you have to pay a million to look like a million. Unfortunately, I did not take a picture because I was running late to the ball and I didn't want to turn into a pumpkin, but I'm definitely grateful to my friend M.

Thank you M, for enlightening me, beautifying me, and for not laughing...too much. Can't wait for my first lesson...

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Blogger The Makeup Musings said...

You are most welcome, Commander. It is my duty to spread the beauty!
Can't wait for our first lesson!!

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Writersblock said...

Yeh... I can't apply make up either. And i rarely ever wear any. If i do, it's only eyeliner. I'm a lousy girl: i hate shoes and purses, too!

4:38 PM  
Blogger Claudia said...

Oh, I love shoes, I just can't wear them. I often find myself buying some cute shoes and then I get home and I'm like what was I thinking, I can't wear these things for longer than 5 minutes!?

9:50 AM  

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