Thursday, August 14, 2008

McPregnancy Hormone Rant

Yesterday while I was driving home from work, I had a fleeting thought that perhaps R and I could go to the movies that evening (since our movie-going ability is going to be severely limited in 6 days), but then I remembered the response I usually get from him about going to the movies on a weeknight (or any night for that matter)....Drive all the way over there? (the movie theater is 5.27 miles away from our house) ....Let's watch a movie at home instead...I'm tired...I'm sleepy...I have a headache...I have homework.

I decided not to even bother bringing it up.

I get home and Mr. I'm tired is looking and feeling super chipper. Wow, where'd all that energy come from? Apparently, he was on his way out to Books and Books in Coral Gables (16.24 miles from our house....see, now THAT really IS far from our house...unlike the movie theater) because Danica Mcwhatshername from the Wonder Years is having a book signing for a pre-algebra math book she wrote for young girls.

Hmmm let's see:

Ren...not a girl
Claudia...not a young girl...doesn't need help with math
Christian...not a girl...too young for pre-algebra
Little Wiggly....not a girl...way too young for pre-algebra

How pathetic.

Not only does this irk me because she looks like an alien, but because he's willing to go the extra mile (11.17 of them to be exact) on a weeknight to go see some chick, but when I want to go to the movies it's a major mission. I guess there's no homework on Winnie Cooper nights. And God knows how much he paid for that book that neither of us can use (edited: $24.95 hardcover). He might as well have purchased a book on underwater basket weaving for 80 year old Canadian women...or better yet, Dancing with Cats...since you know, we have none.

I'd post the picture he took with her, but just looking at it pisses me off, so I'll link to it instead. He's got a smile the size of a house on it...where's that smile when he's taking family pictures? Yeah, I guess taking pictures with your wife, son and future baby is kind of a downer...compared to Danica McKellar.

Unfortunately, it appears that CMan is following in his dad's footsteps. At daycare he likes to snuggle with the pretty girl that watches him. He doesn't do that with me (or my mom, or Ren), if any of us even gets close to him he says "stop blowing me" which means, stop breathing on me. This past Sunday Chris wouldn't let me put away the Parade magazine because there was a lovely picture of three ladies on the cover. My son was mesmerized looking at the girls ("guh-wols")..."look at the guhwols mommy!". Last night I was looking at a parenting magazine. It had a milk mustache ad with another attractive "guhwol" (I don't know who it was) and he wouldn't let me turn the page. He just kept staring at it and saying "look at the guhwol mommy". I just hope he doesn't ask me to pin the picture up to his wall...he's a bit young for that. Besides, pin-up ladies and twinkle twinkle little star don't really go together.

Like father, like son, Sigh. Oh well, at least CMan has better taste.

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Anonymous wRitErsbLock said...

oh sweetie, I'm sorry, but I'm laughing.

that would irk me, though.

10:59 AM  

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