Jordan's self evaluation and Christian questions reality

Jordan: Hi Mommy
Me: Hi baby
J: I'm not a baby!
Me: No? What are you then?
J: Jordan!


Lately I had been discussing with Christian the difference between real people vs characters. Johnny Depp = real
Captain Jack = character

Yesterday in the car Christian asked: Mommy, is Adam Lambert real?
It gave me a chuckle (he IS quite the character afterall).
Yes, baby, he is...although, like you, I sometimes wonder....probably for very different reasons.

Part II: The Hard Rock M & G

Alright, time for Part II! This one's gonna be a long one.....have a seat.

On Sunday, I woke up very nervous and excited. I knew this was the day I would meet Adam Lambert. I felt that, knowing me, this could go either really really well...or very very badly (I'm prone to embarrassing myself).

This time unfortunately, I didn't have my FLGlambs to help me with my make up (I have the make up skills of a 4 year old), so I asked my dear friend Cristy to glam me up. She was a little afraid of going overboard; she kept saying "more Claudia? are you sure?" to which I would reply "Yes! Make me look like a drag queen! The bigger and sparklier, the better!" Fortunately, she didn't listen to me. When I was done, I was neither a queen nor a prince, but a sparkly princess. Just right. After hair and makeup were done I jumped in my car (no Dukes of Hazzard style this time) and drove an hour to the Hard Rock, I was still on time, but cutting it a little close.

Once I got there, I was surprised that I was more excited than nervous. Ever since I bought the M&G pass, I'd been a nervous wreck. I didn't know what I was going to wear or say or do. For once, I finally felt at ease (somewhat). I looked around the line to see if I saw any of my friends from Melbourne and quickly found my buds Katie and Donna. While Neil was checking our names off the list, I was checking him out. He's pretty cute I said at one point. Very serious though. After our check-in, they gave us our lanyards and we stood around for a bit. I was hoping to find a bathroom around there so I wouldn't have an accident later on (I had never done one of these M&G's before, so I had no idea how my body would react...lets just say, I wanted to play it safe). No bathroom in sight. Ugh.

After a little while we were paraded down a hall where Neil gave us the low-down. No kissing (boo), no groping (boo), one picture per person (boo), 2 items signed. Then they stood us in line in front of a large black curtain. All of a sudden I felt like I was there to see the Wizard of Oz (oddly enough, I actually tweeted that on my way to the concert). Although some would argue that I should've asked for Brains, what I really needed was some Courage (liquid courage)! Especially since every time the curtain parted for someone to go inside, I would get a little peek at the Wizard himself. Eeek!

Donna and I were towards the middle of the line. They were letting in two people at a time, so I asked her if she'd take a picture of me with Adam with my phone. Although I had a real camera with me, I didn't want them to say no, I figured the phone would be a little less inconspicuous. Our nervous Nelly selves stood there deciding who would go first and how we would take the picture. I got my props ready because I knew my hands would be shaking in about a minute and I wouldn't be able to do it later. Then, the black curtains parted. It was our turn to go inside. They asked us to put our purses on the table, so I got my phone and folder out and prepared myself. There were two people ahead of me, so I had to wait (and freak out) while they talked. I shuffled, I paced, I played with my phone, I took pictures. It felt like an eternity. And then...they said NEXT!

As I approached Adam I had a million things going through my head. For once, I couldn't believe I was finally doing it. I was also trying hard not to lose my shit and flail out. Composure Claudia! You don't want him thinking you're a nut now! He had his hands open and he greeted me with a smile. He said "I love your sparkles!". That threw me for a loop because it wasn't part of how I figured the conversation would go in my head. I looked him in the eyes and said "Thank you! Hi, I'm Claudia" and I shook his hand (I think). Then I said "Can I have a hug?" and he said "Sure!" and he hugged me. I was so in lala land that I can't even remember it. I forgot to smell him...lol. After the hug, he looked right at me waiting for me to say something. I was a little shocked so nothing came out of my mouth right away (other than drool...jk) and so he asked me something. Since I was off in space, I didn't understand what he said. It sounded like the Charlie Brown teacher to me "whah whah whah". Oh crap Claudia, come back down to Earth. So I said "huh?" or "what?" and he repeated himself slowly (I felt like a turd at this point) "Are you looking forward to tonight?" I said "Oh yeah! It's going to be great! I was there on Friday too!". After that he said "whah whah whah", OK not really, but I zoned out again, so I don't know what he said. I'm sure it was something to the effect of "oh that's great" or some other nice Adam-ish thing. At this point I realized I need to pony up and get with the program so as he started signing my pictures I started talking:

Me: "I wasn't sure what I was going to say to you today so I asked my 5 year old son for ideas"
For those of you that have heard my stories about my son, you know something crazy is coming.
Him: "Oh yeah?, What did he say?"
Me: "He said to tell you that you sing really nice"
Him: "Aww, that's sweet" (I think, it sounded more like whah whah whah).
Me: "and he said that he wants you to sing at his birthday party"
Him: (he probably laughed)
Me: "and I'm not lying...he said to ask you if you shave under your arms" (OK. Stop laughing. My son really DID say that.)

Him: "nah, I'm not really into that".

I can't believe he answered the question! The problem is, I didn't really want to know the answer to the question.

I was attempting a joke-clearly failed.

Now I felt like a double turd because I thought oh great, now he probably thinks I really wanted to know that and used my son as a guise. After that odd exchange, I didn't really want to open my mouth anymore and get myself into even more trouble. It's a good thing Neil interrupted by asking us to pose for the picture. I tried to regain my composure and put on a smile. If I looked frightened and worried, it's because I was. I have a sad, deer in the headlights look and my hair is a mess. I wish someone would have told me. I felt like I was looking at my 7th grade yearbook picture all over again. Why oh why couldn't I have come out looking like this? Fortunately he looks super cute. Then again, that man doesn't take a bad picture.

Normally, what happens after the picture is taken is that Neil looks at it to see if our eyes were closed (or our hair standing up) and tells us it's OK and then you're done, but I didn't give him a chance to do that because I wanted a prop picture too, so not one second after the picture was taken, I turned to Adam and said "OK now can we take a picture with this moustache on?" I don't know what he said (the whah whahs were coming back), but I think it was something to the effect of "Moustache? Um, oh! OK!". He put it on, I put my mouth on (but the stickies weren't working, so I had to hold it up myself) and this is the result.

That picture alone, makes up for all my dorky blabbering. I love it and I love Adam for indulging me. I figured it was worth a try; what's the worst that could happen? he would say no? (If I had a dollar for every time that thought process has gotten me in trouble).

After the picture, he took the stache off and gave it back to me. I thanked him and started to walk away when I remembered I also had a card for him. "OH! I have this for you too, should I put it on the table over there so you can get it later?" I asked because I didn't want for him to have to hold it for the rest of the M&G. He said "No, that's OK, you can give it to me...Thank you!" and so I did and then I zoned out again. I don't remember what happened after that. I'm guessing he said bye and I did too. I wish I would've asked for another hug. I guess the whole experience was just emotional overload and I needed it to be over because the internal flail was about to erupt and rise to the surface. Retaining one's composure is hard work!

I went back to the table and gathered my belongings which were all over the place (apparently I had left them like that). I dropped some things and as I picked them up, I tried to get my act together. I stuck around a bit so I could get a picture of Adam with my phone. The pictures kept coming out blurry though so I kept trying. About 3 more people went up after me and I was still there on the side, taking phone pictures of him, the security guy was like, "OK if you've gotten the pictures you need, you can step outside now" and I said "yes, I'm done" and I left....and the moment I stepped out of Oz...the oxygen returned to my brain.

Am such a dork.

The whole thing felt so rushed and disconnected. I felt like I was so worried about not forgetting to say/do what I wanted to that I wasn't really in the moment. I was on autopilot. Unfortunately I think Adam was a little on autopilot-answer-question mode too (he answered the crazy question instead of laughing at it). I hope I can get another M&G for the next tour. I need to redeem myself.

After the M&G, I hung out for a little while with some friends that I met in Melbourne and then it was getting close to show time, so we parted ways. I went solo to this concert so I was hoping to sit next to someone friendly (who am I kidding this is an Adam show...everyone is friendly!). I hit the jackpot because my seats were right between these two fabulous ladies. We chatted before the show and during the intermission. I was an amateur fan compared to them; they had gone to at least 7 concerts each...and here I was at only my 2nd. The pre-show ambience wasn't as good as the Melbourne one was (everyone was sitting down here), but things finally picked up when some dude on the floor started dancing to Single Ladies (seems like that song always does the trick). That brought everyone to their feet. Then, it was show time. Even though I had promised myself not to bring a camera and enjoy the show, I did it anyway. I didn't take any pictures though because the security guard told me that I had to put it away because professional cameras were not allowed. Thanks to him, I actually enjoyed the concert. I was not worried about my camera and trying to get a picture. I just enjoyed Adam and his beautiful voice. The visual feast had begun and boy was I hungry. I won't review the concert because there are so many other better reviews out there (and hello, this has turned into a novel), but I will say that when he's on stage, he just seems larger than life. He sings like nobody's business and I love his theatrical performances of each song. He makes the greatest faces while singing and they make for some pretty cool pictures. The diversity in the crowd is another thing that always catches my eye. In the first row there was a little girl about 7 years old and in the third row, there was an old guy with glowsticks that was probably over 70. Where else do you see that? WHERE ELSE? Nowhere else but at the Glam Nation!

If you've read all the way through this kudos to you! Thanks!

I love you Adam, thanks for putting up with my dorkiness.

New Kids!...Kids?...hmm...not so much

Let me kick the tumbleweeds from this blog a bit to regale you with tales from last night's NKOTB concert. Two words can really sum it up though: HOT DANG!

When I told people that I was attending this concert, I often received snarky comments from haters to the tune of "oh, they're still around"..."oh how cheesy"," are you serious?", " you're such a goober/nerd/dork/insert term here"....but it's OK, because my consolation is that the haters will never know what they are missing. Que sad for them.

But I am getting ahead of myself...

We got to Miami Beach at around 5:30 or so to stand in line and what a line it was. I was telling Amanda that I love the demographics at this concert. Tons and tons of thirtysomething ladies. I'm sure there are some younger and older, but for the most part, 30-somethings. Amanda and I quickly noticed that as much as we like NKOTB, we were truly not "hardcore". We overheard tales of going on the New Kids cruise and crossing the country to go to various shows, and camping out to be first in line and various message board names and fan meetups and tattoos (yes, tattoos) and VIP meetings and....yeah, we were out of our league. We were just two moms with T-shirts and a bunch of New Kids on the Block albums...on tape.

When they finally let us in to the theater, around 7ish, Amanda and I secured a spot in the second level of the pit (3rd rowish) and continued to stand and wait. At 8pm, they put up a countdown clock behind the sheer curtain, which only increased the anticipation and got us even more hyped up (those boys sure know how to press our buttons). At 8:30 the lights went out and then the insanity began. Let me just say this....gone are the days of little teenage boys strutting their stuff on stage whilst trying to keep it PG for the little girls in the audience...oh no sir. There were no teenage boys or little girls there last night, not on stage and not in the audience. The five Boston babes grew up and so did their show. The Fillmore on Miami Beach was packed with hoardes of 30 somethings pining and screaming for their favorite five guys from yesteryear. They sang the old favorites and they sang some of their newer songs as well while putting their moves on us in the process.

These guys really know how to put on a show. I love that they really put alot of effort into their performances and don't just show up to get a paycheck. They go out of their way to involve and interact with the audience by actually going into the audience to sing...I mean, really? who does this? Most stars are too scared of their fans to actually do this. They had a kick ass DJ to entertain us between sets and they also took things easy and sat down for a nice guitar session. Their shows have always been entertaining and now, even more so. I guess they feel like they have to step it up a notch, and that they definitely do.

The highlight of the show (for me anyway) was when Joe took the stage by himself looking like a fellow straight out of Chippendale's. He was decked in a penguin suit (a tuxedo jacket...not an actual penguin costume) and used the mic stand as a prop while he thrusted and gyrated his way through a medley of "Sweet Dreams/Twisted". Mind you, I've always been a Jon girl, but after last night...hm, I don't know. I needed to be hosed off after Joey's performance. It was a little bit Adam-esque at times, (which is perhaps why I liked it so much cause I lurve me some Adam). Wow. But don't take my word for it. Here's the video of when he performed it in Vegas. Go watch it now, I will wait...GO... oh, and have a paper towel ready.

After that performance the ladies in the audience picked their jaws up off the floor and enjoyed the rest of the concert. Another entertaining moment was when I noticed that Jon didn't do his homework on one of the new songs. At one point I saw him pull a cheat sheet out of his pocket. Come on Jon, get with the program...lol. If you're gonna use a cheat sheet, use one smaller than your hand! Lol, poor Jon, he just doesn't seem like he's enjoying the attention. Always looking down, always looking at the other guys to see if he's not messing up the dance moves, never removing any clothes...hm..come on now Jon. The good thing is that I'm sure only those that watch him often (other Jon girls) will notice these things because he does a good job of blending in.

The show ended with a bang just like it began and when the house lights came on, we were all bummed that it was over. Of course this was a pre-cruise concert, so 90% of the lucky souls in that room would be leaving the next morning on a cruise with these fine fellows, but for the po folks like myself that could not (and did not want to) dish out at least a Grand for a weekend cruise, it was over.

As Amanda and I walked outside the venue towards the parking garage, we looked over at the side of the building and noticed a gaggle of ladies loitering about and taking pictures. This is definitely something that raised a red flag, so we took our Scooby Snacks and went over to "investigate". It turns out there were about 20 ladies staring at a window that appeared to be the dressing room where the New Kids were. The shades were down but we could all see that some of them were inside. Some girl threw a rock at the window to get their attention. Donnie and Jordan came to the window, pulled the shades up, opened the window and stuck their heads out to say hello to us. As you can see, I was the first one to get to the window. Child when I saw him pulling those shades up, I was under that window faster than you can say Take me I'm yours NKOTB. They reached their hands down to shake hands with us (I am never washing my hand again). Then Jordan went inside and Mr. Chippendale's Hotness um, I mean, Joe popped his head out the window. I was able to get this picture with my phone before they went back inside. It’s amazing how being in their presence, hearing their songs and being with the same friend I was with back then, makes me feel (and act) like I’m 14 again. If anything, I love them just for their ability to do that, to make me feel young and carefree again....that my friends, is priceless.

So, the haters can hate all they want, and make comments, but it was a wonderful evening filled with great memories that I will always cherish.

I can't wait for the next one. Hey, can anyone lend me a Grand?

Someone left a gift on my desk...

....today.

Woohoo!

This is turning into the the All-Adam-All The Time Blog, thanks to my enabling friend Melanie! Ha ha. I've been a bad fan though because I just found out today that he's going to be in town at the Jingle Ball 2 days from now and I don't have tickets for that. I suck.

I'll be sharing some Christmas photos of the kiddos soon....as soon as I take them.

Oh boy, I'm so behind.

I swear I don't know where he gets it from

I've got some new Christian tidbits overheard at my house:

Ren: If you don't behave Chris, Santa's going to bring you Moxie Girl toys.
Chris: Oh yeah, well Santa's going to bring you a bag of rocks.


For this next one, let me set the scene: Chris is running around playing ninja with a fake, rubber knife (It got left behind in the putting away of my Halloween stash):

Chris: What time is it? (he asks this alllll the time).
Me: It's time to go to sleep.
Chris: No, it's time to cut some arms off.

I swear he doesn't watch serial killer movies.


Speaking of watching things that he shouldn't. Last night Chris wanted to see Adam Lambert sing on the AMA's. Let's just say I'm suuuuper thankful that he fell asleep before Adam came out because... Hello! Men on leashes (I have to admit that was pretty cool)! Face to pelvis thrusting (woah, very risquee)! Making out with a dude (Hey, Brittney and Madonna did it)!... and that was just while Ryan Seacrest was introducing the act (j/k)!

I knew he was going for shock value, but that was over the top; any ONE of those things would have gotten the job done (publicity), no need to show all your bag of tricks in one performance Adam...save some for later. You know it's good for a singer's career to have everyone talking about them (he was #1 trending topic on Twitter last night), but it's especially beneficial when they are saying good things. I think he lost alot of fans last night (not me of course) and he gained some too I'm guessing. Hopefully the gain outweighs the loss.

Adam pushed the envelope alright....unfortunately the sound was also really bad and Adam sounded a little off key (nerves?) so it's pretty sad that that was the first impression that people that haven't listened to his music got. Hopefully he will sound better this week when he appears on Letterman/Good Morning America, hopefully he'll recoup some of his lost fans and redeem himself, and hopefully I'll be able to let my son watch it this time.

Adam, you've been a naughty naughty boy; keep it up and you'll be getting a bag of rocks for Christmas this year.

Adam. And the difficult questions begin....

The other day, Chris and I were in the car listening to Adam Lambert's new single: For Your Entertainment (which Chris asks me to play over and over again and I totally don't mind) when the following questions came up:

Chris: Mommy, does Adam Lambert wear make-up to look cool?

Me: He wears make-up because he's a singer on TV (I've told him that people on TV wear makeup).

Let's just say I had to be careful how I answered that (let's not encourage the boy) because my son is a little too intrigued by my makeup bag and it's contents. If he wants to be the next Adam Lambert and wear makeup when he's in his 20's so be it, but I'd rather it didn't start in pre-school.

Christian: Mommy, does Adam Lambert have a girlfriend?

Me: Um, I'm not sure babe. He might. He might not.

Sure, I could've used that as an opportunity to say that he might have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, but I think Chris is a bit young for that conversation just yet (what do you think?). I mean, he just turned 4!

I'm not sure if he asked me that because he's currently obsessed with girlfriends (he tells me he has several) or if he picked up on a different vibe from Adam Lambert. Hm, kids are quite perceptive.

Anyway, whether Adam has a boyfriend or a girlfriend (or both?) is of no consequence and none of my business (unless he's accepting applications) because he's got a beautiful voice (and hello, having that face doesn't hurt) and is extremely talented.

I was having conniptions about having to wait until next week for his album to come out, but fortunately, an online stream is available now for your listening pleasure (and mine!) right here. The songs are pretty catchy. Santa, if you're reading this, I'd like this CD under the tree this year...thankyouverymuch.

I can't wait until he goes on tour; that is one show I don't want to miss. I didn't see him on the American Idol tour because I didn't want to have to sit through all that cheese just to see him. It's bad enough that I tuned into AI this year just for the parts where he would sing. I'm thinking a meet and greet would be excellent. Do you think they would frown upon thirty-something-mom-types sitting on his lap for pictures? Yes you say? Oh darn. I thought he was there for MY entertainment.

Anyway, back to the album....my favorites are Music Again, For Your Entertainment, If I Had You, Aftermath, Time For Miracles...oh I could keep going. Just listen for yourself. What do you think? Which songs do you like/dislike?...oh...and how would YOU have answered those questions?

New Moon: aka They're too young for you Claudia!

I went to see New Moon last night as part of a special preview event. There was major security which involved purse checking and body wanding so that no phones would be snuck in to spoil the surprise for others. I was half expecting for them to tell me to remove my shoes for a second there.

Once I gathered my drool napkins, nachos and soda (and signed the loan documents in order to be able to purchase said food items) I settled in my seat and was ready for the eye-candy-marathon.

After some immature squeeals and whistling in the audience (mostly from me), the movie began and I was super excited to be able to get a first glimpse of it before anyone else (a thousand thanks to Melanie and her friend Melissa for the hook up). Fortunately it's been a long time since I read the book, so my enjoyment of the movie was not hampered by comparisons between it and the book. I was able to completely concentrate on the bicep...erm story line on the screen.

I still don't like how Bella is played (too much sucking in of breath and funny faces and cross eyed looks) but the special effects with the wolves and their 8 packs...erm...pack more than made up for that. Actually, several of the men look pretty cute. I found myself calling out many team (both existing and made up) names throughout the movie. Team Edward! Team Jacob! Team Carlisle! Team Charlie!

The movie starts out a little slower and then it picks up the pace really fast, so much so that you want it to slow down so it doesn't end.

The Volturi scenes are pretty awesome. I love the costumes and their makeup. They look downright scary.

One of my favorite scenes is when Jacob, Bella and Mike go to the movies, it was so funny and tender and heartbreaking all at once. Sigh. I heart Jacob. He's so cute, I don't see how it's even a difficult choice for her. Dumb girl. Don't get me wrong, Edward is hot and all, but the acting just doesn't convince me that he's oh so in love with her. Jacob totally looks sincere.

Anyway, that's my take on the movie. No spoilers, then again if you already read the book, there's nothing to spoil, but I'll say this, the last scene in the movie definitely leaves you wanting more!

Perhaps if it had been called "Killer" instead of "Thriller".

This whole month, I've been on a 4-day work week schedule which has allowed me the opportunity to be off on Wednesdays. Coincidentally our local movie theater shows free kids movies on Wednesdays, so I've been taking Christian to a movie every week.

It's been quite an experience since he had never been to the movies before. On the first trip (Charlotte's Web) we had much seat shuffling (he doesn't weigh enough to keep the seat down very well) and multiple loud outbursts regarding the plot. Our second trip (Bee Movie) featured TWO bathroom trips and remarks about how big the "TV" was. This last trip (Alvin and the Chipmunks) had him asking to go home halfway through the movie and to get him more popcorn please. I'd like to say that each time it gets a little better, but I'm not really sure. Fortunately the movies are free, so he's going to get alot of practice on movie theater etiquette this month.

On our way out we passed one of those cardboard stands that advertises coming attractions. This one had a picture of a guy in a mechanic suit with crazy hair and a white face holding a knife. I saw it and said "Oh look Chris it's Michael Myers from Halloween" (NO, he has NOT seen the movie). His reply? "That's Michael Myers? It looks like Michael Jackson". Um, no babe, Michael Jackson doesn't walk around with a knife.

Poor MJ, so misunderstood.

Michael, you will be missed.

Last night I was in bed watching the news of Michael Jackson's death, tears were rolling down my cheeks as I sat in disbelief. I felt strange because I've never really taken the death of an artist or celebrity so personally before. Amidst my sadness, I realized that this was probably because I was not only mourning the passing of a true legend and gifted individual, but a piece of my childhood as well.

I gather from the text messages, twitter updates and facebook updates I've received, that I'm not the only one that feels like a part of their childhood is gone. Michael Jackson was one of the first musical influences of my youth and to this day continues to be one of my favorite artists.

I can vividly remember singing Beat It on the play ground and trying (unsuccessfully) over and over again to replicate his dance moves on my living room floor. The first time I saw him do the moonwalk on TV gave me goosebumps and that red jacket and glove will forever live in my memories. I would force my poor little brother to watch my Moonwalker video over and over again (so much so that he ended up loving MJ too). I thought he looked so cute in the Bad video and I practically rubbed out the video cassette on the Smooth Criminal song from rewinding and playing it so much because I was trying to figure out how he did the leaning over thing (I still love that song and choreographed it for my final in modern dance class a couple of years ago). Recently, when I went looking for my Moonwalker video tape and noticed it was gone, I bought another copy on eBay, my brother wanted to borrow it of course.

My first copy of the Thriller album was literally a copy. It was a cassette that my parents got for me. They had a friend that had the Thriller record (yes, record) and they had it dubbed for me. I can't tell you how many times I played that cassette tape. I think we finally had to throw it away from repeated exposure (don't worry, I have since bought my own, real, Thriller CD).

For my senior year in high school I used one of his songs for my final presentation. Whenever I hear it, I remember how nervous I was sitting in front of the class. I had to give an oral presentation and the boy I was obsessed with liked was but 10 feet away. For Halloween (OK fine, not only during Halloween) my ring tone is the Thriller song (the video of which probably planted the seed for my love of all things scary) and let's not forget about my obsession with Thriller in general. I love those videos of people doing the dance at their weddings and such and I've always wanted to learn the dance and do it in full costume.

It's strange because on Wednesday as I was driving home I had been thinking about Michael Jackson because they were playing that song that goes "mamasay mamasay mamasacusa" and I thought to myself...what the heck is a mamasacusa? which led me to I wonder if I should do Thrill the World this year? (I was going to do it last year, but then I realized that a pregnant Thriller wouldn't work out quite so well). Perhaps this will be the impetus I need to get my neglected project going again.

And just like these, there have been many moments where his songs are interwoven with events in my life.

I am also sad because of a very selfish reason. I never got to see him in concert. I was too young to go to his crazy concerts when people were passing out and all that hoopla. I always said that if he toured again (in the US) I would go see him and now I'll never get the chance.

The next couple of days of endless tributes on TV and radio are going to be hard. I'll enjoy listening to his songs on the radio, but gosh darn it, I'll probably cry again like I did this morning in the car (thanks alot Power 96 for that tear wrenching tribute).

Rest in peace, MJ. You've touched the people of this world in innumerable ways, you will be missed and never forgotten.

McPregnancy Hormone Rant

Yesterday while I was driving home from work, I had a fleeting thought that perhaps R and I could go to the movies that evening (since our movie-going ability is going to be severely limited in 6 days), but then I remembered the response I usually get from him about going to the movies on a weeknight (or any night for that matter)....Drive all the way over there? (the movie theater is 5.27 miles away from our house) ....Let's watch a movie at home instead...I'm tired...I'm sleepy...I have a headache...I have homework.

I decided not to even bother bringing it up.

I get home and Mr. I'm tired is looking and feeling super chipper. Wow, where'd all that energy come from? Apparently, he was on his way out to Books and Books in Coral Gables (16.24 miles from our house....see, now THAT really IS far from our house...unlike the movie theater) because Danica Mcwhatshername from the Wonder Years is having a book signing for a pre-algebra math book she wrote for young girls.

Hmmm let's see:

Ren...not a girl
Claudia...not a young girl...doesn't need help with math
Christian...not a girl...too young for pre-algebra
Little Wiggly....not a girl...way too young for pre-algebra

How pathetic.

Not only does this irk me because she looks like an alien, but because he's willing to go the extra mile (11.17 of them to be exact) on a weeknight to go see some chick, but when I want to go to the movies it's a major mission. I guess there's no homework on Winnie Cooper nights. And God knows how much he paid for that book that neither of us can use (edited: $24.95 hardcover). He might as well have purchased a book on underwater basket weaving for 80 year old Canadian women...or better yet, Dancing with Cats...since you know, we have none.

I'd post the picture he took with her, but just looking at it pisses me off, so I'll link to it instead. He's got a smile the size of a house on it...where's that smile when he's taking family pictures? Yeah, I guess taking pictures with your wife, son and future baby is kind of a downer...compared to Danica McKellar.

Unfortunately, it appears that CMan is following in his dad's footsteps. At daycare he likes to snuggle with the pretty girl that watches him. He doesn't do that with me (or my mom, or Ren), if any of us even gets close to him he says "stop blowing me" which means, stop breathing on me. This past Sunday Chris wouldn't let me put away the Parade magazine because there was a lovely picture of three ladies on the cover. My son was mesmerized looking at the girls ("guh-wols")..."look at the guhwols mommy!". Last night I was looking at a parenting magazine. It had a milk mustache ad with another attractive "guhwol" (I don't know who it was) and he wouldn't let me turn the page. He just kept staring at it and saying "look at the guhwol mommy". I just hope he doesn't ask me to pin the picture up to his wall...he's a bit young for that. Besides, pin-up ladies and twinkle twinkle little star don't really go together.

Like father, like son, Sigh. Oh well, at least CMan has better taste.

"It's going to be like Cirque du Steamy Nights!"

...Is what Jordan Knight said about the upcoming New Kids on the Block tour performances. For the $200+ I paid per ticket, that BETTER be the case! No, not all tickets cost that much, but I have floor seats, section 1. I'll let you focus on that for a bit before I go on (here's a visual aid to help you).

I know that it's close to what the Madonna tickets are going for, but I'll take 5 guys over 1 girl anytime. I really wasn't in the mood to sit in the nosebleed section and break out the binoculars (like I had to when I was in middle school). I'm a big girl now and I demand big girl seats...unfortunately they come with a big girl price, but it is so worth it. I've waited 20 years for this and it is unlikely that it will happen again, so I'm going to treat myself and enjoy it at the fullest. God knows I can spend $200 bucks so easily (I did yesterday at Marshall's), what with my Starbucks and shoe and eBay addictions, why not put it towards something I'll truly enjoy?

Now, if only I could round up the original group of girls that went to the concert with me back in the day (1990?), so it could be a true flashback. I have to remember to go in my attic to look for my old Jonathan Knight (my favorite kid) shirt so I can wear it again (the sausage look is in this year right?).

Speaking of flashbacks...on Saturday, I went to the Freestyle Invasion concert with Amanda. After the concert we ran into a blast from the past at La Carreta. I'd write all about it, except that she's done a pretty good job of it already. Please head over there and check it out.

Premature Thrilleration

It turns out that I posted my Thriller tribute prematurely a couple of days ago (#7). I had NO idea that today was the 25th anniversary of the release of that album. My boss told me that Good Morning America had asked people to send in their best Thriller re-enactments and/or parodies. They played some of the best ones on the air yesterday (crap, I missed it).

The reason I even found the video of my high school pep rally was because R was doing a youtube search of his high school and I decided to do the same with mine to see what would come up. Most of the stuff was from recently graduated classes, so I picked the oldest video I could find and oddly enough, it ended up being a Thriller dance. The fact that I found it was a fluke and the fact that it occurred (and that I blogged about it) just days before the anniversary is just wacky. Ha ha...I love it when things turn out that way.

In the process of doing some youtube research for this here blog post (trying to find the GMA clips), I seem to have stumbled upon a Thriller dance phenomenon. I knew there were other wackos like me that liked to dance to the song, but I never knew that there was a whole movement of sorts if you will.

There are several world records that Thrill the World is trying to break for the most simultaneous Thriller performances and largest Thriller dance (they even provide a series of videos where you can learn the moves to said dance). There's marching band Thriller, toddler Thriller, Legos Thriller and there's even Indian Thriller (my personal favorite so far). I guess you could say that I'm thrilled I found it! (ha ha)

Anyway...because today is the 25th anniversary of the release of the album, I found a website that has alot of fun Thriller parodies to share with you. Click on the link and join me as I head over there to get my Thriller fix. Let me know which one is your favorite.

Here is mine: Indian Thriller with phonetic "translation" of the lyrics. Warning, do not click on this if you are consuming food or beverages...it might ruin your computer or cause you to choke.... yes it's that funny.




GIRLY MAN!
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You do realize that now I won't be content until I do MY OWN reenactment of Thriller right? OK. You have been duly warned. I only need 22 more people (I can think of two right now) to qualify to participate in the record-setting event. Anyone care to join me? You've got some time to think about it...let me know. In the meantime, go to youtube and learn the dance!

Not-So-New Kid

Amanda likes to send me emails whose sole purpose is to make me feel old (thank you Manders). She just informed me that our favorite New Kid on the Block, Jonathan Knight, is turning 39 today. Go ahead...zap me back 20 years in time why don't cha.
Oh my. Thirty nine... that's awfully close to FORTY. He looks good except for the fact that he looks a little frail and wasted. Eat some burgers Jon, it'll help your face fill in a bit.

It appears that Andrew McCarthy is also having a birthday. He's even older! He's turning 45.

OK how sad is it that most of the guys I had/have a crush on are in their 40's?

I guess Amanda's right..."we’re no spring chickens either!".

What happened to you Andrew? You were so cute in that Mannequin movie.

Hot piece of prime rib man meat

Oh sorry, did I get a little carried away with the title there?

On Friday I went to the Chayanne concert at the AA (that's American Airlines, not Alcoholics Anonymous) Arena with my mom. I had a good ol' time dancing, screaming my head off, drooling and singing at the top of my lungs. What a hottie!

If you'll recall, he's one of the players (#14) on my Dream Team (hmm, that reminds me...I just thought of someone else that I forgot to add to my list...I'm hopeless I tell you), so there were many many many pictures taken. I had floor seats too, so you can actually see him in the pictures since he didn't come out the size of an ant. 'll try to put them up on Flickr tomorrow so that I don't overcrowd this post with them. Unfortunately they did come out a little blurry though because:

a) Mr. hot cheeks was dancing and moving around too much and

b) the "event staff" dude wouldn't let me go down the aisle to take pictures, so I had to do it quickly and incognito thus sacrificing picture quality

I had such a great time that I was considering going to see him again in June (at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel) that is until I saw how much the tickets were ($150 a pop). I'll pay that much to see Eddie Vedder (Dream Team player #15), but no one else is worth that much to me; especially not a repeat performance. $150 Dollars per ticket?? That is some really expensive man-meat. I'd expect a lap dance performance for that price.

Hey you over there, it's your turn to get a lap dance!

The Dream Team

Last week I had a dream that my grandmother was throwing a magnificent party at her house and all these celebrities were there (but of course!). Nevermind that she lives in El Salvador. For some reason, I don't think ES is in the top 10 list of celebrity party spots, but humor me here for a sec will you?

I dreamt that Angelina Jolie was there with Brad and that she propositioned me and took me into an empty bedroom (wait, it gets even more interesting). Upon seeing this, the Bradster got pissed off and left, but that didn't stop her from making out with me.

Once in the bedroom, I noticed that we weren't alone. Ewan Macgregor and Wentworth Miller were also there in various states of undress. It appears that they wanted to join in on the fun as well (foursome!...now we're talking). They were pretending to be all into me and stuff, but I knew that the real reason they were there was to see Angelina naked and to try to have sex with her, but I guess they figured they had to go through her ugly less attractive friend first.

And then I woke up.

I don't know what the purpose of that dream was, but it sure sucks to be the ugly friend and to wake up before the dream gets good. Don't you hate it when that happens? I know I've been guilty of trying to go back to sleep so I can "continue" my dream where it left of, but unfortunately it never works.

I had been trying to analyze my dream and trying to figure out why those two men were the ones that popped up in the bedroom. I mean, I know why Wentworth (yes, we're on a first name basis you know) was there (cause I love Prison Break...and he's freakin' hot), but I don't know why Ewan was there? I mean, he's cute and all, but not necessarily one of my favorites or anything (oh and nevermind the Angelina Jolie thing...that's a whole 'nother can of worms). Anyway, I never really figured it out, so I let it go and forgot all about it.

Today, I was looking through my bookmarked websites (to delete old stuff etc) and I found this blog post from A Mom's archives that I had saved and it all made sense. Well, some of it anyway. I remembered that I had bookmarked that entry because I thought it was neat that 4 out of the 5 dudes on her list were also on mine. I saved it because I was going to blog about the hot men some day and share my own list of 5. I totally forgot about it, but it appears that my subconscious didn't. Ewan and Wentworth paid me a visit to remind me.

So I started thinking...OK Claudia, who are your top 5?...Can you really narrow it down to 5? And if so, do you remember their names? (I'm bad with celebrity names...my descriptions of people usually begin with.."you know that guy from that show?...hello, he co-stars with that woman..the one with the teeth and the smile")...and why the heck did Amanda's comment have to remind you of two more men to add to the list? and why does she always have to like the same guys you do?....and why are you talking to yourself? Perhaps you need a psychiatric evaluation? No I don't! Yes you do! No I don't! Yes you do!

While two of my identities continue their argument, the third will present you with our my Top 5, 10, 15 list. Oddly enough, I couldn't limit myself to 5 (anyone that's ever gone to school with me will tell you that I've apparently had that problem for a long time now). I think I have enough guys for a basketball team here.

Anyway, behold the yummy goodness (in no particular order):



Here are the names of the stud muffins you see pictured above: Cary Elwes, Brendan Fraser, Matthew McConaughey, Wentworth Miller, Johnny Depp, Dermot Mulroney, Mark Ruffalo, Julian McMahon, Hugh Jackman, Tobey Maguire, Ryan Merriman, Paul Rudd, Chayanne and last, but certainly not least, Eddie Vedder.

I noticed that I tend to like dudes with big foreheads...I noticed it because by the time I was done uploading all the pictures, they all started looking the same to me.

Who are your top 5 (or 15)? Although, I'm sure my list probably includes everybody else's top 5. Ha ha.

(and no Amanda, you don't have to comment again since you commented on Tere's blog, plus, I'm afraid that you'll come up with another one that I had forgotten about and then I'll have to change the title of my post to Top 16. And no, don't even try mentioning Jonathan Knight because I haven't seen him in a long time, so he may not be cute anymore).

Thanks to Tere (and her original post) for providing me with blog fodder and interesting dreams.