Monday, September 10, 2012

Last post

No, I'm not quitting blogging for ever...I'm just moving over here.

It's time for a change and I'm lazy, so I just made a new blog.  Come on over.  Bring an apple pie!

Friday, August 31, 2012

First day of Pre-K

My little monkey started school last week on August 20th, 2012.  His first day of Pre-K was also his first day being 4 years old since the start of school coincided with his birthday this year.  I looked upon the day with trepidation, remembering how C's first day of school was two years ago (he was sad every day for almost a month).  How would J take it?  Would he freak out?  Start crying?  Not care?
Fortunately, he has the same Pre-K teacher that C did (Ms. F.), and he had met her a couple of times when we'd run into her (at school and at Target), so it's not like she was a total stranger, but still, it was a change.  He was going from a small, home day care to a class with 20 kids (AND he's probably the baby of the class).

During school orientation the Friday before, we met C's teacher (Ms. A) and then we took J to meet his teacher.  There were no other kids in the classroom so J got to have Ms. F all to himself.  He got to explore his classroom, see where his seat would be and play with all the fun toys.  I was hoping that this would make the first day better.

When the first day was upon us, we were all (well, except for C) so excited about the first day of school that we nearly forgot that it was J's birthday too!  The boys got dressed in their school uniforms and they looked adorbs.  J had a star sticker on his shirt that said "It's my Birthday!". 

R and I both went to drop them off.  First we dropped C off at his class.  He's a pro at this first day of school stuff now, so he wasn't the least bit nervous and if he was, he didn't show it.  His only worry would be that he would have no one to play with since two of his best friends were going to be at another school this year.  :(

As we got to J's class, the buzz and activitly level was notably higher.  Children crying, parents crying, camera's flashing.  We walked J in and told him that he would be staying there today.  We both gave him a hug that was a little bit clingier than usual.  His face looked a little worried, as if he could go either way.  I was hoping, oh please don't cry because if you do, then I will.  I took him to his seat and gave him some play-doh to play with (they had all the kids doing this to keep them distracted/entertained).  I gave him a hug and a kiss and said "have a a nice day sweetie, I'll pick you up later OK?" and he barely looked at me and he barely said good bye because he was too busy molding his play-doh creation.

Thank God.

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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

It ain't easy...

I don't know but this age/year has hit me hard, I feel like I'm aging at light year speed and there's so many things I wanted to try and do and I feel like if I don't do them now (while I'm still somewhat young-ish), then I never will... ohmygodmylifeisslippingawaysofast

Thankfully this is where all those new online coupon sites come in (just in the nick of time).  I get them every day in my inbox and I think, what? why am I sitting here folding laundry when I could be parasailing/snorkeling/painting/insert-exotic-activity-of-choice?  Yes, those coupons make you feel like you have no life, but they also make you feel like you too can have a life and you too can totally do what's depicted in their snazzy pictures and all you have to do is click that little purchase button on the right.  What can I say? I'm a sucker for snazzy pictures.

Because of this, I guess I've been pretty absent from my blog, I've kind of been out know, doing stuff.  Unfortunately I just forget to document it.  This time though, I will not, because this one folks is a doozy.

I signed up for Pole dancing class a couple of weeks ago....go ahead, I'll wait while you laugh a little.  Done?  Good OK moving on.  At first I was skeptical because I thought hmm, what kind of people take those classes anyway?  Is it people that are looking for on the job placement afterwards?  Ah what the heck, let's be adventurous and find out (why? cause I'm the best wife EVER!).

Anyway, yes, the Groupon lured me in with it's snazzy pictures of attractive women on poles feeling all so sexy and confident.  I figured, I could use some of that, OK where do I sign up?

I dove in and clicked the purchase button and then I showed up for my first class.  I walked in to this dark little studio (mood lighting...great for helping feel like you're in a dark sleazy club...also good for hiding cellulite).  There were a couple of static poles and one spinning one (wheeeeee!).  I looked around to see how many other 30 something moms had been lured in by the LivingSocial,...let's see her?, no she's in her 20' her?, she doesn't look like she has, just me.  Fab. 

We started off with some stretching.  Our teacher (who was a 6ft tall french the way) was somewhat of a contortionist and she could stretch in ways I thought were impossible.  Her legs were open in a split and her chest was on the floor.  My legs were open in a V and my back was hunched over, nowhere near the floor.  My elbows were on the floor though...that's a start?...right?  First note to on flexibility.

After stretching we stood up and the other girls in the class (there were 3 students total) put on their snazzy stiletto platform glow-in-the-dark stripper shoes. 

Oh darn, I forgot mine. 

Um, I'm still wearing heels with training wheels, how the heck am I going to stand up... much less dance in shoes like that?  Oh lord what have I gotten myself into?  Second note to self...learn to walk in heels.  Third  note to self...get stripper shoes.

So we start off walking around the pole.  Our teacher looks so sensual and graceful.  She's wearing hardly anything at all.  Hmmm....It looks like my Spanx aren't going to cut it in this class.  Thankfully, like I said, the lighting isn't very good in here.  Fourth note to self...wear sexier clothes.    I walk around the pole imitating the moves that she is teaching us.  Wow, this isn't so bad, I can do this.  I gain more and more confidence as I strut around the pole throwing my head back, swinging my hair around, thrusting my pelvis.  Unfortunately I made the mistake of taking a glance at the mirror during my sexiness overload and was given a rude awakening.  Although I felt like a 6 foot tall french ballerina...I actually looked like the travelocity gnome.  Ah the perils of being 36 years old, 5'4", short and husky.

With my ego in check, the class continued and she showed us several spins.  At first I was kind of scared of falling, but after a while, I kind of got the hang of it.  So much so that the teacher kept remarking about whether this was really my first class. Yes, yes, what can I say, I've got talents.  We practiced spinning this way and that way, clockwise, counterclockwise, looking good, looking sexy, looking clumsy, looking gnome-ish.  Before I knew it, the hour was up and the class was over.  I felt so proud of myself for actually getting out there and doing something that seemed so intimidating before.  I impressed myself and the teacher by being able to do one of the hardest spins that she taught that day (the chair) and it gave me the confidence to go back the following week (even though it left me wishing I could win the lottery and get some lipo done before the next class).

I've got to hand it to folks that do that all the time (you know who I mean, wink wink).  Three days later I was still feeling the pain, I had pole burns on my wrists, bruises all up and down my shins, bruises on my knees, my arms and shoulders were hurting and even my fingers hurt (see R? you're not the only one with battle scars now).  I've gone to two classes already (each time, the teacher comments on how she can't believe it's only my 1st/2nd class...ha ha!  who knew?) and I really look forward to going back each week and learning new things.  I really recommend the class to anyone that wants to have fun and try something new.  Warning, the girls in my class were uber skinny, so it really puts your self-esteem to the test.  Fortunately, I'm not there for a career change, so I really couldn't care less.  As long as I feel like a million bucks while I'm doing it...who cares if I look like this:

Now, if only I could find some snazzy shoes...

Perhaps some with hamsters in the heels...

although I think these spider ones are more my style...

It ain't easy being sleazy.

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Friday, March 02, 2012

He's only six!

Chris: Mom, can I change my name?
Me: Yes, when you're 18. What do you want to be called?
Chris: Rolf

Christian: Mom, I'm allergic to poison ivy, salt in my eyes and inspired milk.
Me: Do you mean, expired milk? I think everyone is "allergic" to those things sweety.

Chris: Hello Methuselah!
(said to my brother as he walked in the room).

The other day, I got a prank call from my son: "I knooow your phoooone number, but you don't know who I ammmmm". He disguised his voice and all.

When we went to Disney:
Me: Do you want to ride Aladdin's Magic Carpets?
Chris: No, they look kind of lame.

Christian was drawing Mickey for his homework and only drew the outline.
Me: How about the eyes and the nose? That's not really Mickey.
Chris: Mickey doesn't exist.
Me: What do you mean? Didn't you take a picture with him last week at Disney?
Chris: That was a costume Mom.

Chris: Mom, I can play a song with my whistle.
Me: Ok, let's hear it... (he plays a little tune)
...that's nice! What's the name of that song?
Chris: All Hail wait, Rolf.

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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Little fishies

Jordan's first swimming class with the "big kids" (ages 3 and up) started in January. We talked it up real big for him and made him feel special because he was no longer going to Mommy and Me class.
Here's how that worked out for us:

Could he possibly sit any further away from the class? He was as far up in the corner of the pool as possible. He alternated between crying and sulking in the corner and doing his best to ignore the class and the teacher. Fortunately Christian had a better time of it.
After class we asked Jordan why he cried so much since he's a big boy now. He said "I don't know". We reminded him how much he loves swimming (he actually does) and how nice the teacher is. We told him no more crying in swim class OK? and he said he wouldn't cry any more (sure bob, we'll see about that). The following week, we braced ourselves for a repeat performance.
And we got this:

We got lots of smiles and lots of swimming. Who knew? He was telling the truth! Ever since then, he loves the class and his teacher. In fact, he loves it so much I have to keep an eagle eye on him because he just throws himself all over the pool as if he were a champion swimmer.

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Monday, February 13, 2012

And here I was thinking I'd get a macaroni necklace

Chris: Today isn't Valentine's day?
Me: No, tomorrow is. Are you getting me something for Valentine's day?
Chris: Yes.
Me: You are? What is it?
Chris: Adam Lambert panties

LOL! I can already see that he's going to be a good gift giver in the future. Ha ha! Nevermind that they don't make Adam Lambert underwear...well, at least I don't think they that thought...brb...

I stand corrected.

Maybe I can wear them to the No-Pants Metro Rail Ride next year.

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Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Languages, summer camp and staying fit

While watching Star Wars on TV with Christian the other day, the characters on the screen started speaking one of the many Star Wars languages and the following conversation ensued:
Me: What were they saying Chris?
Chris: I don't know, they were speaking in France.

While trying to pick out a summer camp:
Me: What kind of camp do you want to go to Chris? They have space camp and magic camp and acting camp...
Chris: I want to go to lunch camp.

While watching the Little Mermaid, Ursula the sea witch comes on the screen:
Christian: Oh my God, that lady needs to exercise!

Speaking of exercise:
Chris: What are those?
Me: Shorts for the gym.
Chris: You're going to the gym now?
Me: Yes, so I won't be fat.
Chris: You're not fat.
Me: Thanks sweetie.

and one from the king of compliments:
Jordan: You are awesome Claudia! I like you Mommy.

I swear I haven't coached these children to give me ego boosts...

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