Pump up the jam

Christian hasn't tried a boob since 2005. I finally gave up trying to breastfeed because it got to the point that every time I tried, he would scream his head off like if I were shoving a sword down his throat. I didn't want him to associate feeding time with evil-woman-shoving-boob-down-my-throat time, so I just decided to become best friends with the breast pump instead. Well, with friends like that...who need enemies? It hurts like a mother a bit at the beginning, but you get used to it. The real stickler though is that it is awfully boring. I usually just stare off into space wondering random thoughts (Am I wearing clean underwear? Where IS the beef? Why is there a goat in my office?).

My supply has diminished considerably...it's my own fault I guess...because I don't pump as often as I should (8 times a day!!!...Who has time for that?).Sometimes I wonder why I should even continue because now I'm only getting about an ounce per pumping session (15 minutes), but then I see that face every day and am instantly reminded of why I go through the hassle; because he's worth it.

X marks the spot

More borrowing....Thanks Brandon's Puppy.

X Marks True & Blank Means False

Appearance
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4.
[ X ] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[ ] I have many scars.
[ ] I tan easily.
[ X ] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[ X ] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ X ] I had/have braces.
[ X ] I wear glasses/contacts
[ X ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free (heck, I got it anyways).
[ X ] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[ X ] I had/have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I had/have piercings in places besides my ears.
[ X ] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[ X ] I've sworn at my parents.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[ ] I want to have kids someday.
[ X ] I've had children.
[ ] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[ X ] I'm in school (Yes, again).
[ X ] I have a job.
[ X ] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[ X ] I almost always do my homework.
[ X ] I've missed a week or more of school.
[ ] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[ ] I failed more than 1 class last year.
[ X ] I've stolen something from my job. (Do pens count???)
[ ] I've been fired.

Embarrassment
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[ X ] Disney movies still make me cry.
[ X ] I've peed from laughing.
[ X ] I've snorted while laughing.
[ X ] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[ ] I've glued my hand to something.
[ X ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[ X ] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[ X ] I was born with a disease/impairment.
[ ] I've gotten stitches.
[ X ] I've broken a bone.
[ X ] I've had my tonsils removed.
[ ] I've sat in a doctors office with a friend.
[ X ] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[ X ] I had a serious surgery (Is a C-section serious?).
[ X ] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[ ] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[ X ] I've been on a plane.
[ ] I've been to Canada.
[ X ] I've been to Mexico.
[ ] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[ ] I've been to Japan.
[ ] I've Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[ X ] I've been to Europe.
[ ] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[ X ] I've gotten lost in my city.
[ X ] I've seen a shooting star.
[ X ] I've wished on a shooting star.
[ ] I've seen a meteor shower.
[ ] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[ ] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[ ] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[ X ] I've been to a casino
[ ] I've been skydiving.
[ ] I've gone skinny dipping.
[ ] I've played spin the bottle.
[ ] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[ X ] I've crashed a car.
[ X ] I've been skiing
[ X ] I've been in a play.
[ X ] I've met someone in person from the internet.
[ X ] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[ ] I've seen the Northern Lights
[ ] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[ ] I've played chicken.
[ X ] I've played a prank on someone.
[ X ] I've ridden in a taxi.
[ ] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[ X ] I've eaten Sushi.

Relationships
[ ] I'm single
[ ] I'm in a relationship.
[ ] I'm engaged.
[ X ] I'm married.
[ X ] I've gone on a blind date.
[ X ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[ ] I miss someone right now.
[ X ] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I've cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[ X ] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[ ] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[ X ] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[ ] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[ X ] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] I am a cuddler.
[ X ] I've been kissed in the rain.
[ ] I've hugged a stranger.
[ ] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[ ] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[ ] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[ ] I've snuck out of my house
[ X ] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ X ] I am keeping a secret from the world
[ ] I've cheated while playing a game.
[ X ] I've cheated on a test.
[ X ] I've ran a red light.
[ ] I've been suspended from school.
[ X ] I've witnessed a crime.
[ ] I've been in a fist fight.

Death and Suicide
[ X ] I'm afraid of dying.
[ X ] I hate funerals.
[ ] I've seen someone dying.
[ ] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[ X ] Someone close to me has committed suicide (a coworker).
[ ] I've planned my own suicide.
[ ] I've attempted suicide.
[ ] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ X ] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[ ] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[ ] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[ X ] I own something from Hot Topic.
[ ] I own something from Pac Sun.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[ X ] I own something from The Gap.
[ X ] I own something I got on e-bay.
[ X ] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[ ] I can sing well.
[ ] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I watch the news.
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[ X ] I curse regularly.
[ ] I sing in the shower.
[ ] I am a morning person.
[ ] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[ X ] I'm a snob about grammar.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I twirl my hair
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name
[ ] I love being neat
[ ] I love Spam
[ ] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day
[ ] I bake well.
[ X ] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
[ X ] I would wear pajamas to school.
[ ] I like Martha Stewart.
[ ] I know how to shoot a gun.
[ ] I am in love with love.
[ ] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[ X ] I laugh at my own jokes.
[ X ] I eat fast food weekly.
[ X ] I believe in ghosts.
[ ] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[ X ] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[ X ] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ X ] I am really ticklish.
[ X ] I love white chocolate
[ ] I bite my nails.
[ ] I play video games.
[ X ] I'm good at remembering faces.
[ ] I'm good at remembering names
[ ] I'm good at remembering dates.
[ X ] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I'm movin to Texas

American Cities That Best Fit You:

75% Austin

70% Atlanta

70% Miami

60% Honolulu

60% Las Vegas

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

Fun stuff for Friday

Here's something fun I *borrowed* from another blog...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Claudia!

1. It's bad luck for a flag to touch Claudia.
2. Claudia will often glow under UV light.
3. The water in oceans is four times less salty than the water in Claudia.
4. It takes forty minutes to hard-boil Claudia!
5. Four-fifths of the surface of Claudia is covered in water.
6. Claudia is the world's largest rodent!
7. If you toss Claudia 10000 times, she will not land heads 5000 times, but more like 4950, because her head weighs more and thus ends up on the bottom.
8. Until the 1960s, Claudia was not allowed to enter Disneyland.
9. Never store Claudia at room temperature.
10. Baby swans are called Claudia.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Pass the guacamole...

You know you're a parent when you find yourself discussing the properties of your child's poop with your spouse. Take the following exchange that transpired between my husband and I this week. I was changing his diaper (Christian's not my husband's...He can change his own diaper) and Ren was in the other room on the computer:

Me: Wow Ren! Come and look at this!
Ren: What?
Me: Come and look at his poop!
Ren: No thanks, I'll pass.
Me: No really, come look, it's GREEN!
Ren: Yes, I've seen it before.
Me: Not this shade you haven't.
Ren: Yes I have.

He didn't come and look because he's not comfortable with the whole poopy thing yet. He avoids changing poopy diapers at all costs and will relinquish the task to anyone else whenever possible (Thank you for the package Mr. UPS man, say...Have you ever changed a baby's diaper?). He will only change the peepee diapers, but the other day, the poop snuck up on him. He went to change Christian's diaper, totally unaware of what was lurking inside, waiting for him. Judging by the loud, descriptive, expletive that came out of his mouth, he had not indeed seen that shade of green before.

Don't cry over spilled milk...

I know it's kind of late in January to be talking about resolutions, but I hadn't really gotten around to thinking about them and I'd like to share them with you.

CLAUDIA'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2006:
1. Think about resolutions sooner.
2. Don't wait so long to share such resolutions.
3. Don't spill pumped milk (liquid gold) while trying to list such resolutions.
4. Don't curse when spilling such milk.
5. Keep pumping milk for baby until it runs out.
6. Lose baby weight.
7. Stop blaming all extra weight on pregnancy/baby.
8. Lose extra weight I had B.C. (before Christian...I'm not THAT old).
9. Figure out where strange cheese smell is coming from.
10. Do more exercise.
11. Drink more water.
12. Drink more prune juice.
13. Control flatulence.


CHRISTIAN'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2006:
3. Do not breastfeed under any circumstances.
8. Figure out how to put entire hand in my mouth.
13. Clean cheesy-smelling stuff collecting in my neck folds.
1. Sleep through the night.
10. Learn to love tummy time.
5. Hold head up.
2. Get some teeth.
12. Join Hair Club for Men.
9. Sit up.
4. Crawl.
7. Stand.
11. Walk.
6. Learn to count.

Cereal Killer

Apparently dancing Salsa is like riding a bike. I went back to my salsa/casino/rueda classes last night (after a 9 month long hiatus) and managed to not look like a fool. I thought I would have a hard time remembering the steps since I hadn't danced since April, but to my surprise, the steps were still there filed away in my brain (I guess 4 years of classes are not so easily forgotten). I was once again reminded that I am out of shape though; after a couple of fast songs, I was huffing and puffing my way around the room. Ren was on baby duty and Christian slept most of the time, so that's good news. I'm hoping to convince the hubster to watch Christian on Wednesday nights too, that way I can join the Racquetball club. Perhaps on Sundays I can take ice skating lessons. I figure, if I keep adding activities to my week, I will either lose the baby weight or die of exhaustion.

Speaking of Christian, I have been freed of my prisoner status. Ever since I wrote about moving the baby to my bed, he has been sleeping wonderfully in his own crib. That's nice...make me look like a liar.
On the sleeping through the night front, last night/this morning he ate at 1:30 am and then not again till 8 am! Yours truly was a very happy camper. That's 6.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep!!! Yippeee! Now if only we could figure out how to make him do it again. I think the shot of cereal that I started adding to his bottle had something to do with it. Sssshhhhh...Don't tell his pediatrician though cause she'll kill me.

Fluff The Magic Rabbit

I have homework to do for my "classe de francais" today, so I don't have time to give you a well written or thought-out post. Here is some fluff for your viewing pleasure.


The Florida Marlins are shopping in Hialeah for a new stadium. That would be great because then they would have someone to protect them in case something went haywire at the games.

*Thanks for the superhero Vanessa!

*This one's for my husband.

Bonjour Hippies

Because I am a professional student, I have enrolled myself in two classes this semester. One of them is Modern Dance and the other is French 101. I have been to both classes already this week and it seems I will have a jolly ole time this semester.

I went to my first modern dance class yesterday. When I signed up for this class, I originally thought that it would be something like jazz or hip hop or something of that nature. Apparently I was wrong. There is nothing modern about modern dance. It turns out that modern dance is a very crunchy granola, tree hugger type of dance. "Observe the world around you, observe how people move, how the grass sways, how the leaves in the tree whirl about in the wind...this will inspire you in dance movements...". Oh brother. Those that know me, know that I'm not much of a hippie, so upon hearing this, I just wanted to make like a tree...
During the 90 minute class, the teacher had us get into groups, become shapes, do poses, tip-toe, walk on our hands, skip, hop and stop. drop. and roll, Dick, roll. (Ok, maybe not the last one, but all the others are silly too). I must admit that I did have fun though, I had never tried this interpretive dance business before. The closest I had come to interpretive dance was watching a friend of mine do her tribal dance...you know who you are. It was fun though and I am going to stick with the class despite my initial misgivings. The class also taught me how out of shape I have gotten...my thigh muscles are burning today. I've been walking like a cowboy all day. I feel like Ace Ventura when he got stabbed in the thighs in the Circle of Death match. If you haven't seen that movie, you so need to, it is soooo funny, my favorite part is when he is coming out of the rhino's butt...

I'm sorry, I've run off on a tangent...where were we? Oh yes, my classes. Well, today I went to French 101. Why is she taking French 101 you ask? Well, because I have forgotten most of the three years of French that I took in middle school and high school, so I thought it would be fun to take French again. I know it's kind of cheating to take French 101, but I'm lazy and I don't want to have to work too hard. The teacher is nice and greeted us "Bonjour Classe", she then proceeded to say almost everything in French. It was fun watching the blank stares. I of course understood everything she said...then again, I shouldn't even be in that class. I hope the teacher doesn't catch on and throw me out of her "classe".


*no hippies or trees were harmed in the making of this post

Prisoner of the twin bed

Christian is 16 weeks old today. My little baby is growing up so fast! I notice his progress whenever I see pictures of him from his first weeks with us, he looks so big now compared to back then. It's even more amazing that I'm going to continue to say this as the months and years go by.

Since my mom is watching him until April, I have given her a camera so that she can capture any moments that I may miss (first toothy smile, first time he sits unassisted, first hand-stand, first inaugural address, you know, the usual things that babies do). I think he'll be starting first grade next year, because he already likes to read books and magazines. He took a bath in the kitchen sink and still hates tummy time. It was wonderful to have three days off this past weekend because I got to spend time with my little boy and see for myself all the new things that he is doing. We went to the Beaux Arts Festival on Sunday morning and the rest of the weekend was spent vegetating. He had his first bubble bath, and also loves to blow raspberries now.

On the not so cute and happy front, he still doesn't sleep through the night. He'll sleep four or five hours at a time, but usually at the wrong time (7 pm through 1 am). Or he'll eat at 1 am and then at 6 am, but will wake up several times in between because his paci has fallen out of his mouth. Lately he seems to think that sometime between 3am and 5am is awake time, not sleepy time. Because I'm back at work now, I am WAY too tired to try to put him back to sleep or humor him, so what I end up doing is putting him on the twin bed with me (in the same room) at which point he then falls asleep happily (because I can put the paci back in his mouth a thousand times if need be). Unfortunately this has become somewhat of a habit. Each night he gets moved into the bed at an earlier and earlier time. It started out that I would move him like at 5am (I figured, ah, what the heck, I'll be waking up in an hour anyway), but last night it happened at 3 am! I'm scared that eventually I will become a prisoner of the twin bed and he will never want to sleep in his crib again. Now I see why my friends Marilu and Gonz have the whole co-sleeping arrangement with Rebeka and Andrew.

"Leave the baby in the crib and let him fuss until he falls asleep!"...Ha, easier said than done.

Wooden Americans

Today is Friday the 13th, so I guess today is an appropriate day to remind my fellow readers (all three of you...ha ha) that I absolutely lurve Halloween and all things creepy, spooky, and having to do with ghosts and the paranormal. Those of you that have known me for a while know this already, but I bet you don't know this...

I'm fascinated by it all, but at the same time am very scared of those things. It's quite perplexing I tell you. I love to hear scary stories, but then I get really scared and start imagining things. I don't like really really dark rooms where I can't see my hand in front of my face. I wasn't able to go into the haunted house (with my eyes open) at the Fair until about 5 years ago. I was just way too scared of the lights and animatronics...yes, it's silly, I know. Wait, it gets better...creepy dolls freak me out, especially ventriloquists' dummies, oh wait, I'm sorry, I think "they prefer to be called Wooden Americans". Either way, I saw this movie once where a wooden American is trying to kill someone and the person lays down on the floor to look under the door and the dum..er..wooden American is on the other side of the door lying on the floor doing the same, peeking back at him. Creeeeepy! Another good one is when a boy gets pulled under the bed by a clown that used to be sitting on the chair in his room. That one kept me from looking under the bed for a long long time, especially since I had the same little clown with bells on his feet. That little clown got sent to the Goodwill real fast.

My darling friend Jennifer (far left) knows how easily scared I am, and unfortunately for me, takes advantage of this quite often. I used to go to her house and she would tell me scary stories and I loved it, but I suffered silently all the way home, being too scared to look in my rear view mirror for fear that a dummy was back there waiting to kill me. One time, she scared me so bad that I thought I was literally going to die within the next few seconds. I was petrified with fear and could not even turn around to meet my demise. Fortunately for me, it was not the purple people eater that was behind me, but her roommate (jenny’s roommate, not the purple people eater’s roommate). I didn’t sleep well that night.

Yet, I go to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando and Howl-o-Scream in Tampa and any other haunted houses I can find. I throw Halloween parties every year and one year (2003) I even converted my own house into a haunted house for the trick-or-treaters. I love to watch horror movies. I love to hear scary stories. I even wrote a research paper for school on the paranormal once. I love to dress up and I love to scare people. So why is it that I love to immerse myself (and now my son) in all that is and scary when I am so easily haunted by it? Who knows….that’s one to ponder on…in the meantime…I’m gonna go watch Friday the Thirteenth!

Paparazzi

When my friends Cristy and Danny had their daughter Sophia (10-09-05), they took over 100 pictures in those two days that they were in the hospital. After receiving the link to their shutterfly account and seeing their bountiful picture albums, I glanced over to my account to see how many I had taken of Christian during our three day hospital stay. Upon noticing that I only had 38 pictures of my son, I instantly felt like a bad, bad mom. What kind of a first time mom was I? Propelled by the first of many motherhood guilt trips, I went on a picture taking frenzy. I have no idea how many pictures I have since taken of Christian, but let me tell you, I am no longer in want of pictures.

When Christian started to see clearly, he noticed the camera that was being constantly shoved in his face. Whatever expression, smile or gesture he had been doing was instantly replaced by a blank "what is this thing in my face" stare (this also occurred with the video camera). I had gotten way too many pictures of Christian exhibiting the same blank stare, so Ren (my hubby) and I realized that we needed to get creative with the picture taking.

Here is the method we use: one of us plays with Christian to get the reaction that we want to capture on film, while the other hides close by with the camera in hand, ready to spring out at any moment, to get our shot. This works, sometimes, but other times we aren't quick enough and Christian is on to us. We have to hide and get into such ridiculous positions that I feel like he's the movie star and we're the paparazzi..."No more pictures please!". I hope this doesn't make him hate the camera, otherwise it might ruin his future movie career.

Happy Belated Birthday Ricardo!!!

My "little" brother turned 20 on January 9th. Every time he has a birthday, I freak out and feel old.

My brother was born when I was 10 years old. I remember the first day we brought him home from the hospital. My parents picked me up from school and he was in the back seat wearing a terry pj with red white and blue little figures on it. I remember not being able to concentrate at school because of the anticipation of seeing my brother later that day. I remember I was so thrilled to finally have a little brother, unfortunately the thrilling feeling wore off quickly once I noticed that all the attention was taken away from me. As a baby, he would put all of my toys in his mouth and slobber them up. He always wanted to be in my room touching my things. I could never play any board games without him trampling all over them King Kong style. He would steal my Garbage Pail Kids stickers and stick them all over his things. He always cheated when playing Monopoly with me.

Reading this, one would think that I don't like him very much, but that is not true. I love my brother very much (more than he thinks). He was a pain in the butt, but then again, so was I. I love him for putting up with me all those years. I love him because he looked up to me and always wanted to be with me (now he just thinks I'm a dork). Mostly I love him because he's my baby brother and always will be.

I love you little brother. Happy Birthday Ricky! If you want, I can take you and your little friends to go see the Ninja Turtles Movie this weekend. Ha ha.

Happy 3rd Birthday Brandon!!!

Happy birthday Brandon! How quickly time flies, I remember when you were a tiny little baby...you looked like a sweet little bird. Now you're such a big boy and have grown into a wonderful little person. I hope my baby boy grows up to be as sweet as you!

"Don't blame it on the baby..."

Well, my first week back at work was better than I thought it would be. I felt a little sad at times because I missed my little boy, but nothing I couldn't handle. Whenever I found myself getting melancholy, I would just think about how peaceful the office was without any crying. Ha ha. Technically, I shouldn't say that because Christian is such a good baby. He hardly ever cries, unless he's hungry. Sometimes when he's really sleepy he gets crabby and starts to fuss, but other than that we're good. I've been told to consider myself very lucky. He wasn't colicky and always knew the difference between night and day. Hopefully that won't change (looks around for some wood to knock on).

That brings me to one of the main reasons why I started this blog. I want a place where I can jot down what Christian is accomplishing as he grows up. Ideally this should be written in an album of sorts, but that's just not gonna happen. He's already three months old, so I've got some catching up to do.
Let's see what I can remember so far:
-He used to be a very gassy baby, farted like an old lady drinking prune juice shakes. Several times he would fart really loud when we were in public and people around us would look at me disapprovingly. My husband would say "Don't blame it on the baby Claudia".
-He's easy to burp, all I do is sit him up and it's out. It's funny cause I didn't always do that, at first I would do the over the shoulder patting method, but that method made ME burp before him. I love it when he gives me a good hearty burp...I call them fraternity boy belches. They sound like the ones Booger did from Revenge of the Nerds.
-Speaking of boogers, he got his first cold and went on his first Disney trip about two weeks ago (yes, at the same time, that was just dandy). He had a runny nose, but was a good sport and didn't cry or fuss, what a good baby. Because he had a runny nose, he did a neat little trick that I have never seen anyone do...ever. He blew a snot bubble with his nose. What a talented child I have.
-He doesn't like to be on his tummy...so tummy time is not appreciated or enjoyed. He smushes his face in the bed and either cries or falls asleep.
-He has conversations with me. We gurgle and coo back and forth and he gets this cute little expression on his face as if he's trying really hard to make a specific sound.
-He doesn't mind taking a bath (don't most newborns cry when they are bathed?). He sits quietly in his tub and enjoys having the water poured on him. I turn off the A/C, and use warm water, but his little body shivers anyway.
-He has discovered that his hands can be put into his mouth and he puts them there every chance he gets.
-He almost holds his bottle when we are feeding him. I guess HE wants to be in control.

It's midnight and I should be asleep, so that's it for now.

Buckle up

Commander Claudia reporting for duty here. I knew it was only a matter of time before I jumped on to the blogging bandwagon, so here I am. Strap yourselves in and join me on my spaceship as we navigate the universe and conquer planets in galaxies unknown. Ok, maybe that's a little dramatic. Just check in on me from time to time so you can partake of my adventures in life. As I figure out this mommy thing, there's bound to be some interesting stories to report. Like the morning that I found crap splattered on the wall...ah but I digress...that will be a tale to save for future posts. I may run out of ideas somewhat quickly, so I need to have back up stuff prepared you know.